Silent

For those of you who are old enough (i.e. over 45) you might remember the old song, "Silence is Golden".  When I was a teenager, I didn't particularly appreciate the wisdom of those words.  Life was about going and doing.  Being quiet and sitting quietly were not on my list of top ten favourites--not even on my list of top 50 favourites!

Later, as the parent of three busy children, I quickly grew to appreciate the 'goldenness' of silence.  Today I revel in it! There is nothing like a drive in the country, with the radio off.  Or, the silence of just sitting in the back yard (substitute you favourite outdoor spot here) and listening to the birds, and the wind.

But, lately I've been wondering about God and silence.
Are there times when God is silent?

Life in our household has been somewhat difficult for a while, now, and as you might guess, I've come to ask some pretty deep 'God questions.'  Where is God in the midst of this?  Why don't I feel God's presence with me more strongly?  Why can't I feel the comfort of God?   Is this me?  Is this God?

I haven't come to the place, yet, where I believe God is absent--because everything that's happened in my life leads me to believe otherwise.  But silent?  Could it be that God is sitting by me in silent solidarity?  It certainly was so in the biblical story of Job.  God was aware of Job and his troubles, yet chose to sit silently by while Job worked it all out.

I hold on to these questions, these days, silently working on puzzling them out.  Maybe there is no answer.  Maybe it is in the asking that the question has value.

And maybe, just maybe, it is in the silence that--one day--I will find my answers.