Sunday, June 26, 2011

Depression

According to the psychiatrist I visited this week, I am living with Major Depressive Disorder.  I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned when she told me that.  But at least I had a diagnosis.  And now, I can honestly tell people, "I have gone off the deep end."

I have been struggling with a variety of symptoms for several months:  inability to focus or concentrate; sleeping issues--too much and insomnia; feeling sad and hopeless; low self-esteem; etc, etc, etc.  You get the picture!  I wasn't really surprised at the diagnosis because there is a history of depression in my Mom's family, and personally, I am struggling with some very difficult issues right now.  So, that's that.  I am depressed.

I write about this today not to garner  your sympathy, but because I think that mental health and mental illness are still huge societal issues--even today in the 21st century.  Depression is a word we are reluctant to use to describe someone.  We avoid people who are mentally ill (as if they had the plague); and we speak of mental illness in hushed voices , as if it were some dreaded disease.  Maybe that's it:  it IS a dreaded disease!  But come on, folks, when we can be so concerned for people's physical health; and when we can perform so many feats of medical marvel to cure folks' physical ailments, why still the 'hush-hush' attitude about mental health?

So today I tell you, I am living with Major Depressive Disorder.  Yes, I can still function, but some days it takes more energy than I have just to get up and get going.  Other days, I can do many things.  I've always loved people, but now I find myself sometimes feeling anxious about going out or being with people.  I've always been organized, with lists of jobs to undertake and more than enough energy to do it all, but now it's sometimes difficult to get the dishes in the dishwasher.  As much as I really don't want to feel this way, I can't make it better--no matter what I do!  And believe me, that is probably the hardest part of this disease!

So, friends, please don't talk about me in hushed tones, or veiled references.  I am depressed, and that is the way it is.  Please give me, and all of those living with mental illness, the dignity of naming it what it is.  Treat me as you've always treated me.  Show me dignity and respect, for dignity and respect are the hallmarks of life and of relationships.  I'm sure if Jesus had spoken English, he would have spoken of dignity and respect, for how can we truly love others unconditionally, if we cannot respect them, and give them their dignity?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Parents and Kids

The other day a friend of mine with a 6 month old posted this on her facebook page:
"I'm so in awe of a parents' love for their child...it grows deeper every day! What a Blessing ___ is to me!!! A whole new level of love I never knew! :)"


I don't think I could have said it any better myself.  In fact, I think I remember thinking the same thing when I had a brand new baby--3 times.  Each time I was amazed at how much love I could feel for this little thing who kept me up at night; who trusted me with all of their heart; who filled me with dread when they were sick; whose smile melted my heart.  I was amazed at how my love could grow each time a new child arrived in our family.  Who knew there was that much love to share, and it would grow exponentially, over and over again?!!


My children are all adults now (although they will always be my children!)  And they are amazing young people.  I am so proud of them for how they are making their own ways in this world.  I am amazed that despite me and my continuing fumbling attempts at learning how to parent, they have become such wonderful young people.  I am in awe of them daily for the big and little things they get right in their living!


And yes, my love for them grows deeper and wider each and every day.  Children truly are a gift from God!  What more wonderful gift--and miracle--could there be?  When we consider the miracles of this world, I can't think of a greater miracle than the chance meeting of 2 cells that creates a human being, with all of their intricate wonders.  God is alive and active!


So, whether you have children or grandchildren of your own, look around you and consider the children of this world.  They are the most wonderful gift that could be given to this world.  Yet, so often we blame them; put them down; pooh-pooh their childish ways; or, push them aside, because 'they are only children.'  


The Bible tells us, "A little child child will lead them."  May it be so, for you and for me, and for this world.  For what other hope is there?